“Wait. No. What is happening to me?” - Emlovessturnstriplets (2024)

Chapter 1

Chapter Text

(CHRIS’S POV!!!!!)

“Sure, sure. Chris, you do this all the time! I cannot keep up with this!”
“I agree. You just keep thinking that you can do whatever and lie, lie, lie!”

Those are the words I've heard for my whole life. Doesn’t shock me anymore but still hurts. I purely will continue to believe it's only my fault and not just my parents not parenting? Yeah, parenting. What's a parent again? Okay that was plain out depressing.
Sitting in class, all I can feel is numbness. I'm in 10th grade at 17. Yeah I'm supposed to be like probably 11th but it's my fault. I didn’t learn to read until around the end of 2nd grade, you start multiplication that year.
“Chris! You seriously need to f*cking stop zoning out! Can’t you get meds for that?” One of the people from the friend group I call the animals scream at me. It's fitting really, they all act dumb and bully everyone. They are like the stereotypical people from a movie.
“Um, sorry,” I say quietly.
I stop slumping in my chair and sit straight up, the teacher eyeing me and keeping her tight lipped smile stuck on her face. It's not even a smile though. More like a look of disappointment. I could understand why she's doing that I guess.
I mouth “I'm so sorry,” to her, not speaking out loud, so I don't sound stupid. She just nods her head while looking down. Great. Why don't I just make a list of how many people I upset today?I get slipped out of my thoughts when the bell buzzer goes off for announcements. “Can I have Chris Montiez from 10th grade please come to the front office immediately?” A voice sounds from the speaker. It repeats once more.
Everyone is staring at me. I feel genuine shivers go through me. I pick up all my stuff while “oohs” erupt from the room. This whole school so f*cking childish. I almost can't stand it anymore. I make my way to the office, almost falling on my face tripping over air how scared I am. I crack open the door and see a few office ladies in there.
“Hi, uhm, I'm Chris, I was asked to be down here?”
“We have been expecting you,” one of the ladies said frustratedly.
“Oh sorry. I tried to get here as fast as I could,” I say try to not shake much.
“Whatever. They need you- that room,” she sighs pointing at a closed door in a hallway.
Just breathe. I whisper under my breath multiple times in a row while creeping to the door.
I stand in front of it and grab the knob, pulling it open slowly.
“Finally, great you're here,” a man says, sitting in front of a computer that probably has the worst thing possible on it, like something about me.
“Um, Hi?”
“Take a seat,” he states firmly, like he had remembered what I was in here for and it had changed the mood completely.
“Okay,” I say nervously.
“So if you're wondering why you're here, you're just acting clueless and dumb.”
I look at him with wide eyes. “Um, I have no idea at all. I swear I am not lying,” I say while rubbing my thumb on the palm of my hand.
“You cannot be joking with me, Chris.”
“I have no idea why you called me here.”
“Are we going to have to do this the hard way or what?”
I hit my head on my shoulder for some sort of comfort.“I still have no idea what you are talking about,” I say, glancing around his office. He lets out a loud sigh and tabs on his desk.
“Well, we will just call your parents.”
“For what!?” The thought of my parents always scares the sh*t out of me.
“Jesus, do you need every little word to be explained to you?”
I stand up, I'd rather not get myself into more stupid trouble.
“I'm going to excuse myself,” I place my hand on the door knob.
“No, sit back down. If you really think you're getting out of this that easily then you're just blowing my mind.”
“Can you at least talk to me like an adult and tell me what's going on. I really don’t believe you understand what you're saying, because I'm lost.” I say, breathing out.
“Okay, fine,” he sighs loudly.
“So I had a group of people saying you were bullying, online, and in person?”
“What?”
“Yeah, and then I get bombarded with more than 20 students saying other stuff about you. Like I hear rumors of very bad things we cannot have at our school,” he states seriously.
Needless to say my jaw dropped. What do you mean by rumors? Of what? I don't even do anything or talk to people.
“What rumors? I don’t talk to anyone? I’m like no one in this school? And what things ‘bad’ am I doing?” I ask, clearly frustrated but trying to get information because I'm so confused.
“Like weapons, and online threats. Does doing that stuff not ring a bell?”
“No, because I didn't do any of that?”What the f*ck??
“Did anyone give you proof or are the people targeting me like always?”
“Accusing people of lying is wrong.”
“It's not accusing if it's the truth?”
“Okay, well, we do not accept this behavior at all here.”
“Yes, and I understand that, but who were the people saying all this?”
“I cannot disclose that information.”
“Why?” I question.
“Oh my- With these allegations we put students first.”
I'm not going to argue with him. I'll just let myself get into sh*t even though I did nothing.
“You can be dismissed for now, we can talk later. Hopefully you apologize and do the right thing or the kids' parents can press charges against you.”
“Okay.”
I get up and quickly leave. Press charges? Who are these people?
The bell rings as I make my way back to my locker, everyone staring at me. The hallways flood with students as I'm putting in my locker code.
“Yo, quiet kid? f*ck happened?” A boy's voice sounds from afar.
I'm assuming I'm a “quiet kid” but who knows. I ignore it and grab my phone from my pocket to check the time.
Great, 3:00pm. Finally I can escape, I think to myself.
Well, I guess that was somewhat untrue, yeah school is horrible but I have to go home, to that mess. I put all my stuff together as I feel more people looking and I hear more questions. Like, people wondering why the quiet boy, who has all A’s and a clear record, went to the office. I roll my eyes at everyone. Like they even care, all they want is drama to f*cking yap about because that's all there is.
“Hey,” someone taps my shoulder, “I don't want to seem weird or something because I'm not, I'm also not trying to get anything from you too, well-” they interrupt themselves. I feel like I've seen this person before…
“Wait, are you Matthew from my 4th and 7th period?” I pause, “Matthew Sturning?” I ask, shocked he came up to me.
“Yeah, um-”
I'm not exactly sure why Matthew Sturning is talking and even STUTTERING to me.
“I was wondering if you, maybe, possibly, could give me a ride home?”
HUH? My brain says to itself. I'm unbelievably confused, I mean just WHAT?
“Yeah, for sure. Are you ready to leave right now?”
“Um, yeah, sorry if this seems like too much you really don't have to-”
“No, it's fine. Normally I drive-” I stop myself. No need to get into my issues with him.
We both walk out to my car and he gets in the passenger seat. I'm hesitant to ask why he asked me out of everyone.
“So,” I start, adjusting myself into the car, “Why did you ask me, you know, to drive you home? Like couldn't you have asked your friends? Don't you drive? I don't mean to come off offensive.” I rapidly ask, probably- definitely came out ruder than rude.
“Well, I do drive, just let Justin borrow it and he trashed it and somehow busted the f*ck of the front of it. I think he was drunk driving, I don't know?” He shakes his head. “And all my friends either don’t drive because they rely on me, or I don’t trust their dumbasses.” He sighs.
“Wait, isn't Justin 15?”
“Yeah, he said he was going to hang with his f*ckin’ girlfriend. So much for that,” He giggles a little.
His giggles are so cute. Wait. No. What is happening to me?
“Haha, yeah no I thought Matthew Sturning was a little bit more smart than that to let your brother have your car,” I say, teasing him.
“Please never call me my full name again. No one does anyways,” he says in a random serious tone.
“Okay, what do you want me to call you then?” I ask.
“Matt? I don't give a sh*t actually, just anything else to be honest. Do you want me to call you a nickname?”
“I don’t f*ckin know- no one ever gave me one other than horrible ones. This is really the longests conversation I've ever had,” I admit. I'm guessing we are developing a somewhat friendship? I mean I'm not complaining.
“What? How?” He asks, curious.
“Family issues,” I mutter under my breath, looking down to cover my face.
I feel Matt look up at me and has a shocked expression on his face.
“Oh, I'm so sorry-” He whispers, placing his soft and warm hand on my shoulder and rubbing it slightly.
I don’t know what it was but something happened to me when he touched me. I feel my body jolt slightly at his touch, not in a bad way though. I lean into it and rub my eyes, then run my hands through my hair.
“You probably don't want to just sit here and comfort me this whole time, do you? Sorry- I’ll just take you home.” I lift my head.
“No, it's okay. I have some home issues too. You're not alone. Also, do you think we could get something you eat? Like- I dunno, f*ck- Mcdonalds?” Matt questions. He looks at his pocket and then me. “I could pay. For both of us.”
Never ever would I think I could be here, at a restaurant with Mathew Sturning. I don’t know how to feel about this. I mean, just talking and giggling with him is a really fun time.

“You're actually really funny- you know that?” Matt speaks, with a mouth full of food. I think it's one of his quirks, just talking and talking while eating. It doesn’t annoy me at all though. “And you're super nice, probably nicer than I’ve ever been!” He continues, laughing at himself at the last bit he says.
I feel like this is what it feels like to actually listen too and care about.
“No- you're really nice,” I stutter out.
“Mhm, you're only saying that because I bought your nuggys and fries?” He teases.
I am a victim of men saying “Mhm” in a teasing manner. Seriously. The way I am barely holding myself together is crazy.
“Maybe..” Is all I can say before I lose myself.
A little smirk rises on his face while looking at me. I feel my face heat up and I break eye contact with him.
“It’s late isn’t it?” I ask, looking over at the window, trying to direct myself away from an aching feeling below the table.
“Probably, the sun looks as if it’s going to set soon,” Matt replies, looking out at the window with me. I'm not sure if it's just that this is like a dream and I feel this way or what, because a smile just stays burned onto my face.
The sunset is a perfect example of how I feel inside, happy. Well- not that f*cking sunsets are emotions, or have them- just that I feel like pure bliss currently. The sky is painted a light purple at the top, and it fades to almost a rainbow. It’s missing the bright green though.
“I'm not sure if this is corny or not but I wanna go for a walk.” Matt says, turning to me.
“Why would that be corny?”
“I don't know," Matt says, looking down at his hands on his lap, away from me.
“Well, it's not. Walks are fun, like right now is actually a perfect time to.” I quickly say. I look at him worried about this random off moment. This isn't normal for him. If it had to be normal for one of us it’d be me.
“I thought you’d be the complete opposite with it.”
“No? Here, let's go,” I say while walking to the trash to throw away our garbage. Once it’s taken care of I grab his arm and smile while pulling him up.
“Oh, okay,” Matt says, standing up and fixing his hair.
I don’t understand how anyone could be so perfect. His hair is a dark brown and super fluffy, and his eyes are the lightest blue, which is so beautiful.
We leave Mcdonalds and start walking to my car. Matt gets into the passenger seat as I start the car. When I'm waiting for a clear time I can pull out, I look over at Matt and we make eye contact. I try to play it off by looking back at the road and focusing on going to one of the trails so we can go for a walk.
“Sorry.” I hear Matt mumble. “You're just kind of mesmerizing.” He says aloud.

(MATTS POV!!!!!)
Okay, there's no way that I just said that out loud- right? I mean I wasn't lying but that's not the point. Can someone pinch me now? This seriously isn’t real.
“Thanks, now you have me blushing,” Chris says, effortlessly turning the wheel to pull out. His face is fully flushed a light pink.
I’m sure that was the most awkward position I've ever put myself into, but all I can do now is try and guess where he's going to drive us to for a walk. I let out a little sigh, not super loud but hearable. Chris shares a few glances at me as I look out the windshield. I try to assume that he doesn’t find me completely weird and stuff. I mean, at school no one hardly sees him. I think more than half the female population wants him but he’s just never looked ‘talk-to-able’ I guess. I know that the whole cheer team and football team will hear about this. I don't think they will be happy. But I don’t even care by this point.
It's so odd, whenever I do something with someone I get put on the school's blog page that the teachers can't find out about or even access. I feel like a famous person when I'm a normal, kind of failing student in school. Which I do not enjoy, a lot of people found it surprising when I addressed it to everyone at lunch a couple weeks back that I do not enjoy this. No one listened though, well- everyone was listening but they didn't stop acting like I'm a rare model and I’m so cool.
Chris is like exactly who I'd imagine he’d be. In a good way of course, but I wouldn't dare to tell him that because he would say that I think he's predictable. And in no way do I want to offend him in any way. I feel like this is the farthest I've ever gotten with anyone. I mean obviously I talk to the football team and the whole big group of girls that flirt. But that's all just nonsense and yapping for no reason. I swear, I have more conversations with my stuffed animals at night than anyone ever.
And Chris understands that though. Which is crazy. I feel like one in a trillion people. Well he understands not having a conversation or even hanging out with anyone actually interested in you, sure she doesn’t understand the stuffed animal part, right? Okay who am I kidding, if I told him he’d laugh in my face and call me childish- no- he wouldn’t. He's not that kind of person. I'm not even sure why that outcome came to my thoughts. It's probably the fear of rejection, or being bullied coming to me all at once.
He completely understands, and so do I. Well not necessarily, It's like this trust part of me that's been ruined. But, I feel like if I hadn't asked for a ride home from him, I wouldn’t have found someone that actually cares and not some stupid guy from my stupid team from my stupid life? Yeah, Chris is way better than my “friends,” or anything. I’m not sure if me and Chris are even friends, like at all. But I'm too afraid to ask of course.
(CHRIS’S POV!!!!!)
Why the f*ck did I have to say some sh*t like “now you got me blushing” like who the f*ck am I? I feel already so dumb saying that and leaving this weird silence in the air. Every time I glance over to Matt, I feel this feeling. I’m not sure if it’s the whole situation I’m in thats making my stomach have little flutters in it, but something in my belly is f*cking goofing off in there. Which is highly unlikely and unusual. I don’t even know what to exactly make of it either.
The ache down there, that was once safely covered by a nice table, is fully uncovered. Not even thinking of every basketball player can help my tent in my jeans. I can't do anything though. Matt would probably glance down to my steering wheel, looking around at my messy car, and see it.
Realistically, I could MAYBE slightly palm it from the side, but that would only make me crave more. And, honestly i’m not even f*cking sure what my dumbass wants in the first place anyway! I’d probably say something highly sexual and make him uncomfortable. f*ck. I’m so f*cking screwed.
I pull into a little trail park, and it’s completely empty. Which is somewhat of a relief because I wouldn’t be able to walk with someone’s kid yapping their f*cking life off. I yap, almost never though, but also never does anyone hear it. Sometimes I rant to myself and get annoyed.
“I've, never been here before?” Matt sounds on, leaving the end of his words hanging.
“Oh, I come here often.”
“I had no idea it f*cking existed!” He says, while getting out of the car like me. He raises his arms exaggeratedly while looking around.
“It’s f*cking gorgeous- beautiful, oh my f*cking god.” He says, whispering while smiling.

The trees overcast on each other on one side. It makes a shape that is insanely stunning. Every part of these woods I’ve walked, over and over. I've never brought anyone here either. And I’m not sure why I impulsively bought Matt here. I’m not regretting it, but this is a special spot of mine.
“So you just gate-keep this? because it looks like a natural forest that no one goes to?” Matt asks, walking around and stepping into the trail.
I pause, watching him be taken away by just how the front of the forest looks. “Well, yeah. But, it’s because I don’t want it ruined. You know you’re the only person I told about this?” I say stepping over to stand beside him.
“Really?” Matt asks, turning to look at me. He looks more shocked than I’ve ever seen someone. I look him in the eyes, nodding a bit while saying “yeah” lowly. I honestly didn't mean to say it like that. I think it’s my intense horny feeling slightly taking over. I somewhat get lost in his eyes. Matt is like lost with me, just us both admiring one another. I snap out of my thoughts when I feel Matt wrap his arms around me and hug me.
He rests his chin on my shoulder and I hear him mumble something “Thank you.” I quickly wrap my arms around him also and hold him close. “Chris, I have no idea what's inside of me but just looking and understanding you, I just don't want to lose you, you make me feel like a person, truely.”
(MATTS POV!!!!!)
I have no f*cking clue at all what was to happen to lead me, MYSELF to jump into Chris’s arms. Well, the funny thing is they weren't even out, I just kinda wrapped myself around him like I was about to leave my mom for 5 years. Oh, wait, I didn't even get to hug her goodbye.
Anyways, Chris smells so good, like unexplainably good. I could quite literally stay stuck here hugging him forever. Wait. No. What is happening to me? f*ck.
I realize while I’m practically inhaling his goddamn scent, I’m unconsciously rambling about how much I appreciate Chris. I don’t mean to say it- not that it's untrue, it’s just out of character. When Chris wrapped his arms around me he held me tightly. He trailed one of his fingers up and down my back while I was shutting myself up. “Shhh,” Chris murmurs to me, whispering. I close my eyes and just hear all the birds outside chirping

the end :3 for nowww :33

Chapter 2: Disgusting Jerkers

Chapter Text

(CHRIS’S POV!!!!!)

(A few hours later)

The last time I saw Matt was on Friday, and i have no idea how im still breathing after the hug he gave me. He actually showed that he cared. Of course after he ended his whole rant about everything I told him that I really appreciated and I was happy to. For the first time in my life I’ve didn’t lie about my feelings.

I never thought Matt would actually be just like me. I feel like one in a trillion. I went on and on to him until I felt little beads of water come up into my eyes. I told him about my life. Like every abnormal and not-needed detail I could have thought of. Matt shared what I’d heard was whole life too.

I never had a good life, not once. But Matt hasn’t either. We both come from extremely privileged backgrounds, our parents pay for everything for us but then claim that they do “so much” for us, but they don’t treat us how a person should be.

We both have that stereotypical “dream life” but without the love and care from parents. Apart from the things we share, I have been abused by my Mom and Dad for all of my life. Emotionally and physically.

Matt only relates to the emotional part. Which makes me so happy. Not that he knows what im going through, that he doesn’t go through it. If I heard anyone lay their presence around Matt in a way I don’t like, Id bring hell to their life.

It may-just-may-be be quite early on to say some sh*t like that. Is that what you call “friends at first sight?” or does only “love at first sight” exist?

After our walk of unlimited conversations, we somehow, sadly, finally parted, of course after I got Matts snapchat. I drove him to his home and it was a huge mansion. Like, it was insane.

My house shocked even ME sometimes! Let me tell you, jaw dropped. Speaking of my house, I had to creep in extremely quiet so I didn’t draw any attention to myself.

My house is hardly furnished, it’s practically empty. Like we were just going to move out TOMORROW. So the empty rooms echo through the whole house.

I safely ran to my room and closed my door. I was panting from everything that had occurred that day. I get blamed for sh*t I didn’t do, then I practically go on a DATE with MATTHEW STURNING. Sorry- Matt.

And still I had a f*cking rock hard boner. Still. It hurt like sh*t trying to ignoring too. The second the thoughts passed and I caught my breath, I felt the pulse of my dick.

“f*cking Christ.” I said out loud looking at the bulge below my belt. I jumped onto my bed and quickly lifted my pants off and tried to ease it without fully jerking off like crazy. Not that I wanted it to last, or I wanted to edge or some sh*t, it would hurt.

I felt so disgusted and dirty stroking myself to Matt. I can’t lie that it wasn’t the best f*cking org*sm I’d ever had- by myself, but it feels so icky. Like if I were to have him, I would only want him for sex.

Once I stopped sulking and overthinking, I took a shower and checked my phone.

99+ - Snapchat ⬇️
“mattyboopoobear🧎♀️🧎♀️🙏 ”
(sent a chat)•
tap to see more•

I laugh at remembering the name I saved for Matt right after he went home. Wait, why the f*ck are there 99 and PLUS messages??? sh*t.

(MATTS POV!!!!!)

“f*ckkk,” I groan to myself walking into my room. “I hope he didn’t notice my f*cking huge erection!” I say slightly raising my voice and slamming my door. I run my hands through my hair while picking up my phone.

I open Snapchat and click on Chris’s contact, now named “khmmghaml?🫣.” Which that translates to “kid who made me hard and I may love?”

Jesus Christ. Aren’t I supposed to not fall inlove fast?

I look down at my co*ck like an idiot and just space out for a second. Im clearly still painfully hard, but I cant figure out what I’m looking for. Right. How could I be hard like this when I just met the dude. This is so embarrassing.

I look back over to my phone and swipe out of it, seeing a whole bunch of other messages, and screenshots from the blog, and peoples story’s. I’m so f*cked in every way.

I discard my phone onto my desk and whip out my dick. The relive I get from finally getting it touched really helped all the pain.

I don’t know but I lasted 3 not even full strokes until I combust. “f*ckk,” I groan quietly. “Mm, sh*t. Chris-“ I whisper lowly. My head falls back as I cum all on my hand and some on the clothes and floor.

Did I just whimper Chris’s f*cking name while getting off? Possibly. Yeah. I can’t cover that up. sh*t.

Chapter 3: Messages, and some sad times

Chapter Text

(MATTS POV!!!!!)

(Two days later)

I might actually have found someone I love, or just got the feeling of attention that I’d been craving for years. Either way, none of that helped my outcome of coming to the thought of Chris.

Sure I’ve messed around like that before, not with someone I deeply care about like Chris.

I haven’t touched my phone since that night, I sent like 2 messages to Chris, then went off to bed. I’m too scared to even open any texts because the content will probably make me have a stroke.

Still, so no one things I’m unfortunately dead, I open a conversation with “Jason R”

Jason:
-f*cks wrong wit you lad? Have you gone bloody NUTS?
Jason:
-Do you not understand what you may have just ruined for our team?? Captain will go BONKERS!?!!
Jason:
-I’m dropping your ass if you don’t reply you f*cking little fa*ggot!
Jason:
-Stacy will gladly f*ck you just so you don’t f*cking ruin everything!
Jason:
-I’m so sick of your sh*t Matthew! f*ck you and your gay self.

I cant stop rereading the messages. Jason? This isn’t the Jason I know. Yeah he’s a f*cking prick dick, but this?? f*cks gotten into him??

I consider messaging something stupid back but I don’t care. I open the next conversation and begin reading.

Carrent LCS
-(screenshot from the blog of Matt and Chris hugging, and other photos•)⬇️
Carrent
-WHAT THE f*ckS GOTTEN INTO YOU?? YOUVE f*ckING RUINED EVERYTHING FOR ME AND EVERYONE!!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS YOU f*ckING STUPID LALA RAINBOW. I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU, f*ckING CHRIS MONTIEZ? DON’T YOU KNOW HE IS A f*ckING STUPID NERD? WHO IS NOW APPARENTLY GAY?? YOU DONT NEED THAT sh*t IN YOUR LIFE.

Oh my f*cking god. I feel little beads of salty warm tears in my eyes form. “f*ck!” I yell while rubbing my eyes. I’ve been sitting on my bed journaling for the past hour. But my stupid curiosity got my ass.

How could anyone say that about my Chris. Anyone? How? They have no f*cking clue. Not at all. They’d never know either though.

I swipe out of that conversation before I say and do some insane sh*t.

After reading and viewing all the sh*t that was basically hate on Chris, hardly any on me, just motherf*ckers wanting me to fix this sh*t, I started crying. Not for myself, Chris.

(CHRIS’S POV!!!!!)

I have bruises, everywhere. From past time, from my parents, from myself. I really f*cked up this time. My parents don’t think me smiling for the first time being happy is okay.

In short, my Dad pinned me against the wall, punched me everywhere, and I mean everywhere. I blacked out I think 5 times? While he was f*cking almost killing me, my mom was cussing and asking why would I ever do sh*t like this.

(A few hours later)

I don’t have any clue why I feel like i cant eat or do anything. I’m staring at a bowl of food I made for myself, but I can’t seem to eat it, I feel like I could throw up.

I guess online messages and sh*t can really f*ck someone up, like really bad.

Our schools blog, which is still open on my phone, is fulled of photos, opinions, and other sh*t about this weekend. About me and Matt.

Heres the f*cking problem, I’m not one once of upset for myself, I’m so f*cking sad, mad, and worried about Matt.

All I want to do is hug him and never him go. Those bitches can f*ck off.

But what if Matt is f*cking with me? Just using me for some f*cking drama? I seriously can’t and won’t understand my feelings.

I may be having too many thoughts for my own good. I literally feel, happy, sad, worried, upset, scared, sick, depressed, mad, and confused.

I look over to my phone laying beside me in the counter, still having that horrible ass website up - aka the blog. I grab it and open snapchat.

Still, my message conversations are as dry as f*cking hell, I see a text from Matt.

mattyboopoobear🧎♀️🧎♀️🙏
-hey can you pick me up? its not an emergency if you cant its fine but please do.

sh*t. He sent this 15 seconds ago. f*ck. I rake my slim fingers throughout my hair and remember all of the pain and bruises.

I’ll have to do some master ass sh*t to cover all of myself up. Especially my arms.

My stupid hurt little boy ass relapsed after my parents f*cking went to town on my ass. I had been clean for almost 5 days. And this sh*t has to happen?

My arms look horrible, bruised and cut, some cut deeper than others, then- burn marks decorated my arms as well.

The amount of burns- I can’t even really count because they all look like they’re mushed together. I was upset. Clearly the marks from my dad didn’t help me to be a better son.

I seethe through my teeth while I move off of my chair in the kitchen. Everywhere f*cking burns. I’m also grounded, but I don’t give a f*ck about leaving and my parents left for a random f*cking trip for 3 weeks last night.

I quickly get in my car, discarding the pain and driving to Matts house. I would do anything for Matt.

(MATTS POV!!!!!)

“You thought we wouldn’t ever f*cking know kid? You just f*cking blew your chance at being a professional hockey and lacrosse player! Do you know what you just lost for me, your team, your everything??? Are you retarded? I can’t believe your sh*t anymore. Seriously, are you gay now?” My dad yells to me, shoving up to a wall and holding me for my neck.

“You f*cking fa*ggot. I can see it in your eyes. Huh? You want to do butt stuff with other guys? It’s probably with me too! You such a stupid f*cking dumb waste of time!”

I breathe heavily while holding my throat, jolting awake. “f*ck.” I say while panting. “Wait does Chris go through all this sh*t?” My mind floods with sh*t I cannot handle.

I reach for my phone to check the time. “Sunday, 9:03PM”
Did I f*cking fall asleep while reading sh*t from that dumb page? And then wake up from a nightmare about it?

It’s not even about that, it’s about Chris. Ive never had my parents be abusive to me. I have no f*cking clue. So why does it feel so real all of a sudden?

I come to the conclusion that what I think happened, happened. I unlock my phone and start almost begging Chris to pick me up. I’m so worried.

(CHRIS’S POV!!!!!)

The drive from Matts home from mine isn’t far, especially when you’re going 30 over the speed limit on empty backroads.

I pull up by the gates surrounding his house, pulling out my phone to text him, “im here.”

I wait for about 40 seconds to pass before Matt reads my message. In less than 3 minutes he’s walking out of the door with a little stuffed animal and what looks like to be a casual fit.

He’s about half way from my car and the anticipation is eating at me. I can’t hold back anymore so I sprint out of my car and practically jump onto Matt.

I feel Matts little tense body loosen up as we hold onto one another. “Are you okay?” I ask, worried and scared. I hold his head in my hand as we lock eyes. “Are you? Did you see the blog? Did your parents-? Chris-“

I feel my blood run cold when Matts eyes look away from mine and see my uncovered arm. He throws all of his stuff into his
pocket, grabbing my hand while looking at me.

“No.” I say shaking my head. Little tears in my eyes prickle and a few are already streaming down my face. I yank my arm back and hold it close, covering it.

“What? Give me your arm I want to see.”
“No,” I mutter quietly, more tears escaping my eyes and my voice choking up.

“I had a nightmare about this sh*t. Let me see if you’re alright. Please.”
“You did?” I ask, sniffling
“Yeah, now show me your f*cking arm right now!”
“It’s not just my arms,” I say looking away.
He looks at me lovingly, “Okay, where else?”
“Uhm.” I pause.
“Do you want to go in the car?”
“Mhm.”

Chapter 4: Show me.

Chapter Text

(MATTS POV!!!!!)

We get into the car, separating for a short second that felt painful to do.

“Is it safe to ask if we can go to your house?” I ask, scared to go over an edge.

“Yeah, mh- f*ck. My parents left for a trip last night. They don’t give a f*ck anyways.” Chris groans a little in discomfort while moving a little. A few tears are begging to come out.

“Okay-“ I stop and lightly grabs his chin, making him face towards me. “Shh, you’re okay.” I use his thumb to rub the tears away. “Everything’s okay, Chris.”

“Chris, we can talk about it for hours when we are home, alright?” I say while holding him close. “Do you want me to drive? I had my license revoked because of dumbass Justins sh*t. But I know how to drive, are you okay enough to do that.” I ask lightly, threading my fingers throughout his hair trying to soothe him.

“No- I’m good, yeah-“ Chris says while starting his car. “I’ll get us home faster.”

I watch Chris steadily start driving away from my home. I’m so proud of him. When we get to his house I’m going to let him do or say whatever. I don’t care anymore.

“Mh, Matt?”
“Yeah Chrissy?”
f*ck. That slipped out.
“How do you feel about all the gay rumors?”

How the f*ck do I answer that “oh yeah of course, I love you so much, let’s be together, lala la. Oh and yeah, I jerked off about you, tehehehehe.” f*ck no.

Of course all of that sh*t is true and I’m mocking my dumbass because I have no clue what to say.

“Matty?” Chris says, glancing over at me talking his eyes off the road.
“Um, sorry that question caught me off guard. What?”
“Never mind. It’s fine.”
“No I, f*ck I don’t know how to feel about those?”

I answered that question so stupid I have no clue how I stopped myself from jumping out of the f*cking car. I left that sh*t hanging. f*ck.

After a few more minutes of driving, we arrive at Chris’s house. “Well, this is the sh*t hole. Well, at least it’s pretty and the maids don’t question the blood.”

Do I laugh or cry? Seriously? God help me. We both get out of the car and He waits for me on sidewalk in front of the mansion.

I stand beside him and run my pointer finger up and down his back, while we walk up to the house.

Chris gets his keys and unlocks the many bolts on the wall. He finally breaks the door open and grabs my hand to run up to his room.

I count around 3 flights of stairs we go up to get to the floor that Chris’s bedrooms on. He leads me into his room and shuts the door behind him.

“Can you show me, please, now?” I ask, almost begging.
“Um, yeah. Would i-if-um-it-you? f*ck.”

Chris looks over at me and away. f*ck. He’s blushing. Now I’m blushing. Chris being a stammering mess is the cutest thing ever.

“Would it be better if i- um, you know took my shirt off. It would show almost all of it?” Chris asks flustered.

“Do what ever you’re okay with. Im here and you’re okay, right Chrissy?” I say sitting down on his incredibly comfortable bed. I pat a seat in front of me, asking him to sit.

“Most of it” is the saddest thing ever. First of all, he has it. And theres so much that it’s down by his legs.

Chris sits down and pulls the hem of his shirt over his head, uncovering his chest.

Oh my god. His whole upper body is a dark purple, red, dark blue. I cover my mouth and try to hold back tears. I glance over at his arms and see all of the deep cuts, burns.

“Chrissy,” I mumble, wrapping my arms around his neck and holding him. “No, how could someone-“ I sniffle while wiping my eye. “f*ck. Your arms, did your dad do thjs to you?” I ask while holding his wrist and pointing at the burns.

“No.” Chris says looking away in guilt. My heart stops. Chris? How could you even do that to yourself. Oh my god.

“Was it always this bad, Chrissy? How long?”
“9 years-“
“No! f*ck, Why could, how? Oh my god.”
“Shh, its not that bad-“
“Chrissy, it is, it’s so bad. Unexplainably bad.”

I lift my head from the crook of his neck and rub my face trying to stop myself from bawling.

“Chrissy, listen to me.” I say placing my forehead against his.
“Hm?” Chris says looking me back in the eyes.
“I love you. and that may sound like some crazy, heat of the moment sh*t, but it’s not. I love you. You are loved.” Chris body slightly shudders, then he wraps his arms around me, pulling me in for a hug.

I place my head on his right shoulder, which I’m pretty sure that my head owns this shoulder. My eyes glance down to his back see it’s no better than the front.

“f*ck, your back? Have you seen it?”
“No, particularly because I can’t move right to see it, and I’m scared. Matty, I’m so scared. Everything hurts. Its not just my upper body, my dad- he-“

I can’t even explain how my heart is broken into little fragments. I have to stay strong for him, because it doesn’t help if I add myself as a sobbing mess.

“Do you think you can show me? I know words are hard right now, it’s okay. He’s not here right now. It’s just me, alright?” I quickly pull my head off of him and hold his head in my hands, rubbing his tears away while softly talking to him.

“Mh, yeah,” Chris mumbles. “Matty, it’s so bad. It’s gross. I can’t even handle it.”

f*ck, does it look like I’ll be grossed out? No! I want to see, I need to.

Chris starts fumbling with his sweatpants and finally slides them off. His upper thighs are decorated with deep cuts and harsh burns, and then his legs are covered in dark blue and purple bruises.

“You’re doing so good, Chris.” I say while looking down at his legs. His boxers aren’t off, and assume Chris won’t take them off. I’m not going to ask him to either.

“Matty, i-“ Chris starts to speak.
“Take your time.”
“Matty I love you, too.”

Chapter 5: Can’t get enough

Chapter Text

(CHRIS’S POV!!!!!)

Matt is so soft and comforting. I can’t even explain it. I showed him my mangled body and he didn’t even flinch.

Now we are laying in my bed together, all cuddled up. I think Matt and I made the same conclusion of us both skipping school. I don’t think either of us could handle it.

“Chrissy?”
“Mh?”
“I’m scared too.”
“We will be okay.”
“I know.”

The next morning-

I slept with only my sweat pants on. The fabric kept rubbing along my cuts and bruises and it was just to overstimulating. Matt is cuddled up close to me when I wake up, sleeping peacefully.

I listen to his soft breaths as I comb my fingers throughout his silky hair.

Matts a little smaller than me. I’m around 5,9, while Matt is like 5,6 or 5,7. And his height isn’t the only thing smaller than me. His whole body is small and petite. And the good part with that is, he fits perfectly snug in me.

I don’t at all mean any of this sexually, or rudely. I think Matt is actually from heaven.

I’m surprised he didn’t spot my hard on when I was showing him my legs. Man, taking my pants off, in front of Matt? Crazy.

Matt stirs in my arms. His little pug stuffed animal is brung is right in the middle of us, resting on his chest. Its name is “Mr. Wrinkleton.” I think its cute. He gave it its own little bark, and thankfully, Mr. Wrinkleton likes me.

“Morning,” Matt speaks in a raspy morning voice, he looks up at me.
“Hi Matty.” I reply, still running my fingers in his beautiful brown locks.
“What time is it?”
“2:30pm or something?”
“Damn.”

Matts morning voice is so f*cking hot. I can’t even with this man anymore.

“Your morning voice is hot,” I whisper.

I genuinely didn’t mean for that to slip out, hahaha, yeah who said that guys?? Wasn’t me lol lmao haha!!

“f*ck.” Matt sighs while leaning into my hand in his hair. A light rose color blush spreads around his cheeks. He cracks a smile and wipes it away quickly with the back of his hand.

“What was that for?” I tease.
“What was what for?” Matt questions.
“You’re blushing, and why’d you wipe away that cute smile?”

Matt doesn’t reply, he burrows his head into my chest and groans.
“You aren’t fair!” He whines.
“Did I embarrass you-?” I ask, acting shocked. “Or are you just flustered?”

“f*ck you.” Matt says, jokingly.
“Fine.”
“You’re a bully!”
“You’re a cutie.”
“What?”
“If you don’t stop being cute, I’ll kiss you.”

Matt pauses, then looks me dead in the eyes.

“Tell me how to be the most cutest f*cking thing you’ll ever see in your whole f*cking life.”

(MATTS POV!!!!!)

How do I ALWAYS mange to say some out of pocket sh*t? f*ck. I’m already, of f*cking course insanely hard too. And I just asked him to kiss me?

“Like that.” Chris says licking his lips.
“f*ck.” I quietly whimper.
“Did you just whimper?”
“sh*t, f*ck, uh maybe? No? Yes-?”

Chris stops me from trying to babble, by kissing me.
“Shhh.”
His lips meet mine and slowly they leave. And the loss saddens me so much to make a whine sound.

He brings his lips back to mine. and I kiss back. f*ck. This my first kiss.

(CHRIS’S POV!!!!!)

I couldn’t hold back any longer. I knew saying that sh*t could and would cause this. And it worked. f*ck me.

I have no clue what it was. Impulse? Probably. But heres the thing, now that my lips are on Matts, I don’t them to come off.